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Sexual Desires & Repression

In my mind there was no outlet for such a strong desire within my faith outside of marriage. If sexual desire was only to be pursued within the context of marriage, and marriage was clearly not happening, what was I supposed to do? Live an entire life sexually repressed?

Nearly 40 years of repression takes its toll. I could see my passion for life fading. I had gained a considerable amount of weight, I was struggling with chronic pain, and slipping into a depressive state. It was becoming more and more evident that in the quest to remain pure I was losing myself. I would read books and search the internet for the answers I was seeking. Ironically, I kept finding the same message. Wait. If you wait, God will bring you a husband. Or “I waited, and God brought me the man of my dreams” at 24. It started becoming sadly comical to me. The people who were preaching this message ended up married!


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