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Longing and Belonging

I can remember the day so clearly, when everything changed. My life came to an abrupt halt. I had completely lost myself in the quest to honor God. It was the most painful time in my life thus far, yet a precious gift from the universe. It was clear that the choices I made in life were counteractive to the life I truly wanted to live.


Here’s the harsh reality: in America, we all have the choice to pursue the life that we want to live to a major degree. We only have one life on this earth. So, why are so many of us living counteractively? I’d like to propose that it’s because we all have this deep desire to belong.


When we are without meaningful physical connection with other humans we tend to become empty inside. For me, this radical religious dogma that I embraced ended up becoming more important than life itself. And anytime a dogma is perceived as more important than human life we run into major issues.


To be seen, heard, known, and ultimately loved for who we are is at the core of human existence. We were made to be in community. The research is clear, our minds are pre-programed for survival, and survival outside of community is nearly impossible. Yet, we want to be loved for who we truly are!


Sex is our birthright. That’s right, we are born in this physiological state! The desires we have are good for us, completely normal, and natural. We should be open to the feelings within our bodies and be curious! When I finally comprehended that I was the one holding myself back I began to realize that if I gave myself permission to be curious this could lead to the possibility of sexual fulfillment. If I desired to explore and embrace a life of pleasure, I had the power do so. I could live in all the ways I truly longed for!



As one acknowledges their sexual desire, they become empowered, and this slowly begins restoring one’s identity by reclaiming self-trust.

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